…So! Long story short, this list was created in middle school. It’s stuck around during that entire time. At times I’m ashamed of it, and at times I’m proud of it. No matter what, though, I just can’t let go of it. It’s easy to spot the…ah, energetic state my mind was in at the time, though.

Let it be made clear that I have neither the patience nor the pride to go through this thing and fix all of the grammar and spelling errors.

1.) Take a blank piece of paper, wave it around and
say, "I have secret military plans written in invisible ink!!"

2.) Every time someone says the word, ‘the’, hop around on one leg while
singing the Barney song.

3.) Say in a loud, proud voice, "I AM WOMAN! HEAR ME ROAR!!"

4.) Shoot arrows into people’s car tires.

5.) Choose someone to follow everywhere while staring at their head
intently until they scream at you. When they do that, sit on the floor
and cry your eyes out.

6.) Every time someone asks you a question, scream hysterically until
they apologize.

7.) When everyone is watching, take out a rubber sword and hit yourself
repeatedly on the head with it.

8.) Sacrifice a doll in front of people, and when asked why you did such
a thing, say that the rubber ducky god wanted it so.

9.) Tape a picture of an eye to your forehead, tell everyone that it’s
your third eye and it heightens your sense, and then walk into a wall.

10.) Hit people with a stuffed skunk, then laugh at them and run away.

11.) Start talking to yourself, and when people ask you who you’re
talking to, say it’s Bob, the talking banana that lives inside your
head.

12.) Start screaming random numbers out loud, and when people ask you
what you’re doing, say, "QUIET! I’m in the process of finding a
major mathematical breakthrough!!"

13.) When the lights go out, scream loudly in a high pitched voice, and
then hide under a desk while screaming, "AHHHHHHH!!! ‘Tis the end
of the world!"

14.) Tell everyone that you will not answer to anything other than
Ashfookala, queen of the hyper pink bunnies of DOOM!

15.) Go up to a stranger, call them Santa, then sit on their lap and ask
for presents.

16.) Whenever it thunders, say in an ominous voice, "Thor is angry
with us…"

17.) While at a play, run across the stage while dragging a banner
behind you that says, "DIE EVIL TREE KILLERS!!!"

18.) Refuse to eat any bananas or banana related products because,
"Bob gets upset by that."
(Refer to number 11)

19.) Every time you drop something, scream, "Remember the
Alamo!"

20.) Fill the music classroom with water, and tape a sign over the door
that says, "Swimming hole"

21.) Answer every question with the following:
Your mother eats swiss cheese grown between the toes, and I am a happy
blue butterfly! WHEEEE!!

22.) When eating, say everything that is happening, as it happens, in a
loud, excited voice.

Example- "I am putting the food in my mouth! I am chewing! I am
still chewing! (At this stage, show everyone that you are indeed chewing
your food) I am swallowing! I am letting the food go down my throat! The
stomach acids are now beginning the digestion process!"

23.) Get three friends, go up on the roof a building, and dance and sing
the YMCA.

24.) Choose an unsuspecting person to tackle to the floor and jump on
their stomach, every time you see them.

25.) Take an empty Kleenex box, put it on your head, and dance.

26.) Have a staring contest with a wall.

27.) Stare at the ceiling all day, and when people have gotten used to
it, scream, "CEILING!!"

28.) Start screaming hysterically for no reason what-so-ever.

29.) Strap people to chairs, and force them to watch Barney until they
try to claw out their eyes.

30.) Make stupid lists such as this one, and force people to read them.

31.) Take a burned out light bulb, and with it, sue the company, saying
that the light bulb was defective.

32.) Throw citrus fruits at people’s heads.

33.) Go up to random people, hug them, call them your long lost
brother/sister, kiss them, then skip away merrily.

34.) Stuff raisons up your nose, and call yourself the muffin
man/woman/person/thing.

35.) Run around in circles with your arms spread out wide and say,
"I’m flyyyyyyyyying!!"

36.) Tape leaves onto your forehead, and claim that you are a tree.

37.) Go up to someone, stare at them for a bit, then laugh in an evil
voice. After that, sit calmly down on the floor as if nothing happened.

38.) Tape eyes, noses, and mouths to inanimate objects, give them names,
and adopt them as pets.

39.) Wear a chair on your head as if it were a hat, get on a table, and
start reciting the Declaration of Independence in a helium-high voice.

40.) Go up to some kids in the park, and start preaching to them about
the hazards of dihydrogen oxide. (And if you can’t figure that one out,
dihydrogen oxide is water…)

41.) During a boring lecture, jump on top of a table, begin tap-dancing while singing, "Tomorrow"

42.) Call people common household item or foods, instead of their names.
Ex- Black Tea, Bleach, Pizza, Sponge, ect.

43.) Chose some to call broccoli head for the rest of their life.

44.) Instead of swearing, say things like, "Oh on the bloody seven
Spam layers of the underworld!!"

45.) Juggle bricks while doing the hokey-pokey, singing the Barney song,
riding an unicycle, and actually succeed in doing it.

46.) If someone tries to talk to you, scream this out: "I knew it!
I knew you would leave for…. for…. for… HER!!!!" Then make a
scene and run away crying. (Say her no matter what gender the victim is.
It can make things much more interesting at times….)

47.) Tape feathers and colorful scraps of paper on various parts of you
body and run around screaming about how the rain god won’t make it rain.

48.) Walk around all day while having a giant paper crane perched on
your head, and when people ask you about it, start singing "Walk
Like an Egyptian" in a horrible, off pitch voice.

49.) Chain yourself to a television, and go around yelling about
turnips.

50.) Hit yourself on the head while screaming things like, "Get out
of my head you fiend!! I demand that you stop habiting my head at once!!
Leave me be!!!!

51.) Start speaking a nonsense language, and when people ask you what it
is you are speaking, say that it’s the language of the aliens that
abducted you.

52.) Endeth everyeth wordeth youeth sayeth witheth, ‘-eth’

53.) Talk in an obviously fake Swedish accent, and say, "I am Helga.
Nice to meet you. Would you like to wrestle??"

54.) On a clear, sunny day, wear a raincoat and swing around an umbrella
while singing, "Singing in the Rain."

55.) Paint polka-dots all over yourself and tell everyone that you’re an
alien from Neptune.

56.) Give a Bob a girlfriend, Mary! (Refer to #11)

57.) Stuff bottle of Herbal Essence down your pants while screaming,
"THE POWER OF THE HERBALLY ESSENCE SHALL BE MINE!!!"

58.) Write stories that have no plot and make no sense, and force people
to read them.

59.) Randomly scream, "I don’t know the Muffin Man!" whenever
the mood strikes you.

60.) Whenever you walk into a room with people already inside, stare at
them for a bit, then scream, "NO! You don’t see me! I am a figment
of your imagination!"

61.) In the middle of a conversation, start banging your head on the wall
while screaming, "No! Bad Brain! I did not just think
that!"

62.) Make a cardboard cut-out of a horribly drawn stick figure wearing ugly
pants, then lug it around with you everywhere you go. If people ask,
scream, "YOU WILL NOT INSULT MR. PRETTY PANTS!!!"

63.) If you see someone eating a banana, beat them with a stick while
screaming about how they are insulting Bob. (Once more, refer to #11)

64.) Tell everyone you see that their life is a lie, then give them a
balled-up piece of blue paper and run away.

65.) State the obvious at every possible opportunity.
Ex- If someone walks into a room, say, "Hey! (Insert Name Here)
just walked into the room!

66.) Scream, "I am the Evil Ducky!" then proceed to run around
flapping your arms while quacking.

67.) Claim that you’re a psychic, and whenever people say something,
say, "I knew you were going to say that!"

68.) Scream out random profanities in different languages whenever you
feel like it.

69.) Grab some random people off the street, hug them while singing "This Little Light of Mine," and rocking back and forth.

70.) If you do something wrong, scream in a loud, dramatic voice,
"Noooooooooooooooooo!! I have failed in my quest to
perfectness-ness-ness!!" Then bang your head on the nearest hard
object you can find.

71.) Balance a heavy book on your head while dancing disco.