Ah, I always forget to write in this blog, despite fiddling with my LiveJournal so much. Then again, I didn’t post much in my LJ this month, so maybe that can count as an excuse.

Who am I kidding. I’m just lazy.

But, with my first year of college drawing to an end, I do want to reflect on the past year a bit. This time last year, I was excited about being admitted into Pitt. In fact, I don’t think I even knew I was accepted yet! I’m pretty sure my letter of acceptance came on the twentieth.

A year ago, I was more introverted. Senior year was good for me, as it helped me socialize like a normal person did. I hung out with my friends for the first time ever, went places without my mother, and even lived by myself for a month. All those experiences helped me overcome my biggest obstacle in life: avoidance.

I’m not a person that actively seeks social interaction. I had to be dragged out. I was much more content staying in with only my computer company.

It’s changed now. I like going out. I like spending time with my friends and acting like idiots. It’s fun! It’s fufilling! What’s most surprising for me, though, is how much I actually love social interaction. On the other hand, I find it difficult to socialize online now, but in all honesty, I’d take face to face interaction over online interaction any day.

I also did something this past year that I wouldn’t have though about doing before: performing. I found that I love acting. I love singing. I love being on stage. I always knew I was a bit histronic, but my lack of self confidence and shyness prevented me from doing what I really wanted to do. Taking Intro to Performance was the best thing that happened to me this year. I got over my shyness and insecurities (Maybe too much; I’m arrogant now). Beyond that, though, I found that I was good at it. My performance teacher praised me, and he even recommended for a private acting workshop. I auditioned for a play, and even though I didn’t get the part, got called back. I participated in an improv show, and while I was nervous, found that my mind was capable of thinking on the fly while on stage.

That led to me being able to express myself more freely. I hate confrontation, and I used to do anything to avoid it. For the most part, that meant shutting up and very rarely expressing my opinions on things. I’m still a bit tight lipped, but I’ve opened up a lot as well. I’m not afraid to say things now, and that’s done wonders for my mental stability. I’ve accepted who I am and my thoughts. I’m not afraid of there being conflict anymore. I can handle conflict better.

Being at Pitt also opened my eyes a lot. Pitt’s an urban college, with people from just about everywhere. Sure, there are people who annoy me a lot, but I’ve found that I can now relate to people that I would have never even spoken to in high school. The fact that people are people and just people has settled in my mind better now.

I’ve also gotten a better idea about what my limits are and what my priorities are as well. I’ve sampled classes from my potential majors, and while I’m actually a bit lost now on what to do, I also know that I’m fully capable of doing it if I really wanted to. My original plans have already been thrown out, but at the same time I’ve gotten a better idea of what I want. It’s strange to be directionless and so goal oriented at the same time, but it works, too. My love for some things have been reassured, while for others, I’ve found that my interest in the subject is too narrow or limited to serve me for a major and/or career.

And this is all in the first year.

I don’t think I’ve matured a lot. I know I haven’t. I realized a lot of things about myself and my surroundings, but I’m still young and ignorant about the world. I’m fine with that, though. Part of growing up is to go at your own pace. If you go too fast, you’ll miss all the important points of life that aren’t as obvious.

I’ve got three more years- maybe more if I decide to stay for the heck of it- to figure out the beginning of my life. I’ve got thousands of more things to experience. I’m fine with not being mentally mature yet, and that, I think, is the most important lesson of all.

Post five of your driving morals/beliefs about the world and the way you live it. Otherwise, post five things about cheese.

1. I actually like cheese! Just. Not by itself. It’s a good accent to food, but I don’t like it when its the main attraction, so to speak.

2. Cheese is awesome for thickening sauces. Unfortunately, not all sauces go well with cheese.

3. I don’t like cheddar.

4. I always wanted to try some of the fancier cheeses, but I’m afraid that I won’t like them and therefore waste the money I spent on them.

5. Cheese shouldn’t be used as a replacement for super glue. It melts and doesn’t stick well.

…

Like I was actually going to write about cheese.

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Note to self:

While keeping the window open at night may be cooler, it is also a lot noiser, especially when the helicopter decides to make a late night landing.

I just came back from PittStart, a two day event from Pitt in which incoming freshman students get to explore the campus, speak with Freshman Peer Counselors, register for classes, and have fun mingling with other people who have no idea as to what college is like.

It’s a learning experience. A good one. In these two days, I’ve learned more about college– and what comes after college– than I have in my four years of high school. Of course, what I learned is a little bit special. Pitt has one of the best student counseling services in the world. They are refreshingly honest; everything is covered, including the things that no one wants to hear.

Also, each student received a book titled 10 Things Employers Want You to Learn in College. It’s mandatory reading, as New Student Orientation has a two hour session on it. I’ve been reading it, I highly recommend it to anyone going to college or in college. I’ll talk more about the book later.

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I thought I was through with all the uncertainty about my future plans. I want to major in Chinese. I want to be able to translate and interpret Chinese into English, going back and forth between the US and China, visiting my family, and enjoying the free miles that I’d rack up.

And then I stayed in a hotel. With television. And the History Channel and Discovery Channel.

I’m beginning to go back towards my first love — Astronomy. Astrophysics.

When I was younger, I wanted to discover galaxies and give them names like M32. I wanted to work on designing telescopes and interpreting data sent back to Earth from space stations. I wanted to go out in the middle of the night and be cooped up in an observatory, looking at the skies and taking notes.

I still want to do that.

I love space. I love thinking about the existence of black holes, love theorizing about the beginning and the end of time, love trying to create models of a five demensional universe, love learning about the new discoveries. But I’m behind, so behind. There was a point in elementary school where I checked NASA’s website every single day. Today, I couldn’t properly explain the existence of dark matter and dark energy to you, and can barely give a decent explanation on string theory and the impacts of said theory on modern astronomical studies.

When did I get so behind? How did I even get behind in the first place?

If I’m going to be pursuing something in Astronomy again, then Chinese is going to have to be a minor. Sadly, Chinese is only offered as a major. I have no desire to double major.

Sadface.

Trying to navigate Pittsburgh on foot with high heels? Is a bad idea. My feet and calves hurt so much.

That, and when I wear high heels, I have a tendency to run into door frames. The ceilings here are low.

Pittsburgh is…big. And hilly. And so very, very crowded. Navigating the city is like trying to navigate a maze while blindfolded, tied up, and stuck in a mail box. Or maybe it’s just me.

It’s actually pretty hot here, but not as humid, which is good. Currently, my mother and I have retreated to a hotel in the University of Pittsburgh. Tomorrow, we’re going to take a walk around, check on apartments, and then maybe, maybe, set off to Long Island for a brief visit to my mom’s best friend and my Godmother.

The housing here is so different from what I’m used to. Tiny little cramped houses right next to one another which a garden the size of a porch in the front. There are very little, next to none at all, driveways, and parallel parking seems to be the way to go. Sadly, neither I nor my mother can parallel park. The city is so…tight. Everything is crammed right next to one another, I’m surprised that the residents can breathe. It gives the sense of this rushing, bustling metropolis– Which Pittsburgh is– but so much more of it. It’s like Guangzhou, except everyone’s not Chinese.

As for Pitt itself, the campus is freaking huge. My mom and I drove around for two hours and didn’t manage to get half of it. For the most part, we just drove from one end to another. I saw the Cathedral of Learning, though! Glorious, as expected. I also got to my dorm. I have singles in Lothrop, which I wanted, but the uphill climb I wasn’t expecting.

Right now, my thoughts can be summed up as, “Pittsburgh is big!” It’s funny, since I’ve spent much more time in Guangzhou, which is larger in area, population (11 million!), and just about everything else, but I’ve never once been intimidated by it. I think I just answered my own question, actually. I’ve been in Guangzhou for so long, the awe has worn off. Pittsburgh is still new and shiny, so the awe remains and skewers my viewpoint.

I’ve got at least four years here, though. That’s enough time to get accustomed to everything.

This is quite possibly the last post I shall ever make while in Louisiana. It’s been a long thirteen years. Honestly, I’m fairly surprised that I managed to last so long.

I’m uncertain as to just exactly how I currently feel. On one hand, I am extremely excited to be heading to a new location, as well as the chance to start anew. On the other hand, I feel saddened over the fact that I shall be leaving so many people and memories behind.

No, that last statement is not entirely accurate. I shall not be leaving the memories behind; I shall be taking them with me, keeping them in my mind and heart.

To all my friends, to everyone whom I have ever known, to every person alive or dead that I have had the pleasure of meeting in Louisiana, I say this:

Thank you, and I shall miss you.

A list of things I try to live by and remember every day. Mostly for me, but I wanted to share it as well. ♥ More might be added as time goes by or as I remember them.

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It occurs to me that I should use this thing more often.

It’s funny. This is probably the last summer like this I’ll ever have. When college starts, summer would probably be filled up traveling, work, family, and a whole bunch of other stuff. Right now, I have nothing to do with my time except wasting it. I should be enjoying it more, but I’m not. I’m bored out of my mind.

Current plans call for my mother and I leaving around July 20th or so. We’ll arrive in time for my scheduled class registration and orientation dates, and then after that, we’re going to California for some business my mom has to attend to. After that, I’ll fly back to Pitt on my own around August 24th.

In other words, I have about a month and a week or so before I’m gone. I should be making the most of the time I’ve got, but I’m not.

Someone motivate me. No, wait. That’s not right or fair. I should be motivating myself. I should be taking charge of my own life and making plans and doing things.

…I need to learn how to drive, pronto.